Time of the Month
by Agent-G
Summary: What happens when all of the female members of the mansion are having that time of the month all at the same time? Nothing good for the men that's for sure. AGU oneshot


**DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN X-MEN: EVOLUTION OR ANYTHING FROM MARVEL, ANY OCs ARE MINE.**

**This is just a humorous look at my AGU that someone inspired me to do. This doesn't have to count as actually part of the series just comedy about it. And thanks to ldypebsaby who inspired this.

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**TIME OF THE MONTH**

It was a quiet day at the mansion of Xavier's school, except that the quiet of that day would be shattered. It was about ten in the morning on a Sunday and at the moment Bobby was on his way to the rec room to see what was going on when he saw Jubilee there. He smiled to himself seeing her and walked up to her, "Hey Jubes what's up?"

"Why do you care?" She snapped at him, surprising him a bit.

He held his hands up in defence, "What did I do?"

"Nothing! And that's all you do nothing!" She yelled at him and then her face dropped, "Why can't we go out and have nice times huh? You never take me to anywhere romantic and all I hear from the others girls is how romantic some of their dates have been."

"Okay, okay, I'm sorry," He gently said to her trying to calm her down. She looked like she was close to tears and he hated seeing girls cry. "How about we try going out, you're pick I want this to be how you wanted it to go."

"You really mean that?" She asked hopefully and he nodded. She squealed and hugged him and went skipping along, "Oh I'm going to get my hair done, my nails, oh god I hope I have something to wear." She turned to Bobby with a sweet smile, "Bobby?"

"Yeah?" He smiled at her.

"You better not be dressing like that tonight or I will personally kick you butt all over this place!" She pointed at him and then smiled sweetly and skipped off. Leaving a very confused Bobby to wonder just what in the hell was that all about? When he entered the rec room he saw a few of the boys there looking a little glum.

"Man what happened to you guys?" He asked them.

"Ah don't know what happened but Tabitha has been nuts all day. She threw a time bomb in the boys bathroom cause it was cleaner then the girl's one." Jamie told him. It was odd since Tabitha wasn't one to care about that.

"Have you guys noticed something really strange with the girls today?" Ray asked them all thinking back on it. "I mean I saw a few of the girls watching that movie Ghost and stuff and they were all crying their eyes out."

"So? That usually happens at a few of those scenes," Bobby shrugged personally he just liked it when that guy started to haunt the two that killed him parts.

"It wasn't even during the sad parts," Ray went on. "I mean I asked them why they were crying at this movie and kind of made a joke about it. Next thing I know they are all giving me this death glare too and I decided to get out of there. I swear they looked ready to kill me or something."

It was then that Sam ran into the room and slammed the door shut behind him looking a little pale and worried. His quick and loud entry startled everyone in the room. "Damn it Sam! What were trying to do? Give us all heart attacks?" Roberto said to him sharply.

"Don't y'all know what's goin' on?" He asked him. Since he came from a very large family with a lot of sisters he knew the signs. In fact the way Tabitha was acting so 'girly' today just proved it. "Don't you know what happens to girls at a certain time of the month?"

The others looked at each other knowing full well what he was talking about. Sure women got a bit emotional sometimes from that time but it didn't make them nuts. Did it? Sure a few times the one or two of the girls would be a bit more emotional from time to time but it had never been this bad.

"Come on even if it was…that…how can so many have it?" Ray asked him.

Sam justr sighed, "Didn't y'all know that the longer girls stay in one area they all start to become in synch with each other? Trust meh, my momma and all mah sisters usually have it at the same time now."

"Uh…Did you mean…ALL of them?" Jamie asked as he was referring to Paige.

Sam made a face not wanting to know the intimate details of any of his sisters' cycles. "Ah don't know and ah never want to know."

Upstairs in their shared room both Sarah "X23" Logan and Paige "Husk" Guthrie were on their beds each one had a hot water bottle to their stomachs. "Oh god ah really hate this part of bein' a girl," Paige the thirteen year old girl said. She had only this a few times but each time it was a royal pain, and she meant that literally.

Sarah nodded to her long blond haired friend, "Be thankful you're not in Hydra…When I went through this I wasn't allowed any rest." She was thankful for being here, ever since she started this process over a year ago this was the only time she could take it easy. Even with her healing powers it still hurt, but these hot water bottles sure helped out.

"I swear…boys have it easy," Paige growled out, "Ah mean when my mama told me all the things Ah would be goin' through when I got my first period ah didn't want to believe her."

"True," Sarah stated, "There's the cramps, pain…and why do I feel like eating chocolate?"

"Oh god that would be good right now…maybe with some ice cream too…" The southern girl thought to all the tasty things that she wanted at the moment. "Can you move?"

"No."

"Dang it…let's try again in an hour…"

Sarah was silent for a moment then thought about something, "You think Jamie is up here?"

"Don't know," She knew where she was going with this. "Only one way to find out and if I ask him then he should be able to get us some snacks."

Both girls looked at each other sharing a look, Sarah was still learning what it was to be a 'normal' girl but she had learned a lot living here. Both girls turned to the open door, "JAMIE!" Both shouted out loudly hoping he would hear them.

Scott was in his room typing up the last of a research paper for his classes. He sighed and stretched himself back against his chair after finally getting it finished. He carefully closed his eyes and took his shades off and rubbed his tired eyes. He then put them back on, he hated how careful he had to be with his shades but he was used to it by now.

He saved his work and shut down his computer, closing the top of it. "God…If I knew college was this tough I'd stick to high school." He muttered to himself. He wondered what to do with the rest of the day, Logan had taken off this morning in a hurry for some reason. He said he'd be back after three days and no one knew why.

So there was no Danger Room sessions going on at the moment, he was considering maybe calling Paul and getting together for something again. They had been slowly building on their friendship again but wasn't sure what to do. Just then Jean came into his room, he noticed a new pair of jeans she was wearing.

"Scott I need you're opinion…Do I look fat in these?" She asked him turning a bit.

'Uh oh,' He thought, he knew a loaded question when it came, 'Great why the hell to girls ask us this? We can't answer it. We say 'no' and they think we're lying and if we say 'yes' that's just as good as a death warrant."

Jean narrowed her eyes at him, "Death warrant?" She asked him coldly crossing her arms. Scott swore in his head, he hated it when thoughts leaked out like this. "So you hate this? You think I look fat in it?"

"What? No! Of course not, you look beautiful!" Scott said quickly.

"Are you saying that I don't always look beautiful?"

"Yes-No! I mean no! You're always beautiful I mean those jeans…uh…and…well…" Scott was desperately trying not to dig himself any deeper and trying to hide his thoughts. Jean just looked at him with her hands on her hips for a very long uncomfortable moment. Then she turned around and the door slammed shot behind her with from her powers.

Scott sighed, he hated it when she got like this. A sudden strike to his head happened then, "Ow, what the…" He looked down to see one of his pillows there on the floor. He palmed his face, there were definitely down sides to dating a telekinetic telepath. "Maybe I'll see if Paul isn't busy after all…"

Ray and Roberto had snuck out of the rec room thinking that maybe Sam was just pulling their leg. After all what were the odds that every girl was going through that time of the month? Although after seeing Kitty and Dani putting pink ribbons on a very sulking looking Lockheed cause they thought it made him look 'cute' was enough for them.

"Okay I say we get out of here for the day," Roberto said after that image of those two girls. He wasn't sure if dragons could get emotionally scarred for life but if they could that might do it.

Ray nodded his head, he had been thinking of seeing Pam but with all of this he didn't want to push his luck just in case. "For once I'm in total agreement."

"Hey boys." They both looked surprised to see Wanda there. Now everyone knew that she still had a slight anger management problem but the thought of her being like the rest of them was just scarier then Logan wanting to put them through a level ten DR session. "Going out?"

They blinked a few times, it looked like Wanda, but it didn't exactly sound like her. She was too…cheerful for starters, "Uh…yeah…you okay Wanda?" Ray asked gently.

She just shrugged and had a small smile, "Sure, why wouldn't I be? It's a nice day, got all my homework from Beast done, and no major attacks or anything, got a very nice E-mail from Simon. So what could be wrong?"

Both Ray and Roberto gave each other a slightly nervous look. Normally Wanda you could at least predict her but 'happy' Wanda they had no clue how to deal with her. But considering what could happen…they were glad she was happy rather then pissed off. "Oh no reason," Roberto said quickly, "Well have a nice day we got to get going."

"Sure, have a good time guys!" She smiled and went around the corner.

"Dude…what the hell?" Ray asked blinking a few times not sure what to make of that.

Roberto nodded, "Yeah tell me about it."

"What the hell is one of my books are doing down here!" Wanda shouted from the other room as the lights flickered, "I swear to God if anyone has been taking my stuff without asking I'm going to skin them alive!" There were a few tremors from her powers kicking in. Both boys didn't waste any words as they just bolted for the front door and wouldn't be back until supper or maybe they would eat out. Ray decided to call back and ask the guys if it was all clear later on.

In the library Kurt teleported into it and took a seat and sighed, muttering something in German as he place a hand over his eyes. "You too huh?"

"Dah!" Kurt jumped not seeing Vincent, Piotr and Kai there sitting also looking a bit down at the moment. "Vhat are you guys doing here?"

"Hiding, most likely what you're doing as well," Kai sighed to himself.

Kurt hunched over the long table in the room, "Man are zhey all like zhis? I mean I love Amanda but…she's been insane today…"

"Yeah well whatever she's like I bet it doesn't stand up to your sister," Vince groaned. "I tell you if we were married I'd be sleeping on the couch. And I _still _don't understand what I did wrong!"

Piotr nodded his head, "This is never pretty, my father would usually be thankful to have something to do on out farm. And if there wasn't then he'd find something."

"Oh trust me we used to do the same thing back home," Kai leaned back remembering it all from his village back in Japan.

"So all you ninja boys vhere scared of your women?" Kurt had to smile at that.

Kai looked at him seriously, "These women were trained to be assassins and warriors since they could walk. You put in female hormones going nuts and you get a very bad combination," The rest of the boys exchanged looks as they thought that over. Given what they were going through a village full of female warriors wouldn't be the best place to be.

"We would go out into 'wilderness training' exercises," He went on explaining what they used to do during that time. "We'd go out for a full week just to be sure."

"Oh crap I just thought of something…" Vince then looked over at Piotr, "Dude what about you're sister? I mean she's living in a place learning to control her magic with two other magic users."

"Oh man I pity Strange and Blaze," Kurt winced at the thought of throwing magic into the mix. Piotr still was a bit uneasy around Illyana's boyfriend but at the moment he really pitied the poor guy. Kai had only heard about this from the others but he just shrugged, he didn't want to know just how bad things could get with magic thrown in.

"Um…I think Miss Ororo is also…uh…feeling a bit off today as well," Piotr said looking out the window. The three other boys looked to see it hailing on a clear sky at the moment. Then a few bits of lighting as well.

"Well…that's something you don't see outside of an apocalypse," Vince muttered to himself.

"Hey vhere are ze others? Like ze adults?" Kurt realized he hadn't seen any of them lately.

"Logan-san went out on his bike earlier today and he hasn't been seen since," Kai offered, he had been on the roof looking for a place to hide out.

"Da and Warren said something about meeting up with an old friend in New York," Piotr added as the winged mutant had looked a bit more upbeat since at that moment.

Vince thought back to where the last ones were, "I think Beast and Forge locked themselves in a lab and last I heard Xavier is 'sequestered' in the Cerebro room."

"Smart vish I had zhougt of that," Kurt sighed hoping this day would end soon and that the next day would be better.

In the kitchen, Blink, Dani, Rahne and Tabitha were all seated around the table eating out of bucket of ice cream. "You know I don't know who invented ice cream but they should have gotten a metal or something." Tabitha said before taking another spoon full.

"Oh aye, tis one of the world's greatest inventions," Rahne nodded happily.

Dani took another spoon full herself feeling the nice cold food melt in her mouth, "I know we shouldn't be eating so much of this…but it's just too good."

Clarice nodded with her spoon in her mouth, "I agree…but I think we can indulge ourselves once and awhile."

"Yeah we deserve it now and then," Tabitha agreed with her. At that moment a few of the other girls walked in, Gale in the front with Jubilee and Rogue with her.

"Hey guys, oh ice cream," The blue haired empathic healer smiled seeing the triple chocolate ice cream opened up, "Mind if we join in?"

"Nae, pull up a chair." Rahne waved them over as each girl went to get a spoon and then take a seat.

"God ah can't remember tha last tahme ah got a chance to just eat some of this…I just know this will go right to mah thighs." Rogue sighed but got a spoon anyway. She sat down and dug in, it was a tight squeeze and it was times like this she had control over her powers for once and didn't have to worry about touching others.

Jubilee had a sudden thought then and decided to ask the other girls something, "Hey have you guys noticed how all the boys have been acting kind of strange lately?" She asked them all.

They all thought about it for a moment, there were a few nods and vocal agreements to that statement. "Oh yeah but then again they're men, they're not supposed to be strange." Danielle shrugged her shoulders before digging back in.

"No kidding," Gale sighed, even with her new powers to read emotions she still couldn't understand the male mind. "Now you see one of the reasons why I play on the other team as it were. Women are more easier for me to understand. Like why do guys go nuts over cars?"

"Ah got no idea," Rogue shook her head, "Ah swear ah don't know who Scott cares for more, his car or Jean." That got a few laughs out of the girls there, since they had seen Jean get a little frustrated with all the time Scott used on his car.

"Yeah and how about how they like all the violent sports? I mean what's so good about wrestling?" Clarice asked them, she just didn't understand that sport at all. Although to her it wasn't much of a sport but she thought the same with boxing and other things like that.

"Oh well I just watch it for the cute guys in spandex," Tabitha grinned and the others looked at her, "Oh come on, lots of well built guys in little clothing? Getting all sweaty and stuff, at least that's my appeal to it all," Tabitha just shrugged it off seeing the looks. Although when it got bloody that's when she lost interest.

"Well…it's kind of the opposite for me," Gale blushed, "I mean seeing all those women in skimpy outfits and all…" She let it hang there as a few of the girls didn't want that image in their heads. But they knew that Gale was gay so it was natural for her to be interested in that kind of thing.

"Oh so that's why you got that Trish Stratus poster in your room," Jubilee grinned seeing the other girl blush.

"Anyways," Dani said getting back to the topic at hand, "I swear it's like men are built with a few crossed wires in their brains."

"That's true," Clarice said nodding, "Not to mention what is up with them and commitment? Or that fantasy with two women? Honestly how many here, actually want to be in a three way with another woman?"

"God ah'm just glad that none of the boys are THAT bad…at least…ah think they're not," Rogue shrugged but decided not to think about that. If her own boyfriend ever had thoughts about that if he knew what was good for him he'd never say anything like that.

"Yeah but then how many girls would want the same with two guys?" Jubilee asked and everyone turned to Tabitha.

"Hey! I'm not THAT bad, besides if me and my Sammy ever did that I'd kill the woman that tried to touch him in any way like that," She said crossing her chest looking serious as ever. That was a side of her the girls had never seen before.

"Let's just face it…Guys are totally a mystery," Gale shrugged her shoulders.

"Aye, they can be nice and sweat but also so clueless," Rahne sighed going for another spoon full.

That got a few nods from everyone as well remembering a few times with that. "Plus they always seem to be at their worse a certain time of the month too for some odd reason." Blink said after thinking about it. All the girls thought about it and just shrugged, chalking it up to another mystery of the male mind that made them act strange once a month.

**THE END**


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